Well, I've made it through my first work week. Monday I was very proud of myself but Tuesday I definitely carried a little sadness in my heart. I’ve had to shake off a little bitterness as well.
Yesterday I learned that one of the babies in the NICU the same time as Grey has passed away. I was sent into a whirlwind of emotion. My heart is really aching for this particular mother. Her baby girl was in the NICU for a year and passed away on her one year birth date. The last I heard, mother and baby were scheduled to go home. I was up all last night fretting. My mind was racing with all the “what ifs” and I literally checked on Grey every hour. I wanted to pull him out of the crib and cry. Each day the memory of the NICU fads a little but when I learn about a preemie death the painful memories and emotions are back screaming in my face. Life in the NICU is so unfair and cruel.
I am so grateful for my lovey boo. I just wish I could protect all the preemies in the world.
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