Sunday, November 29, 2009

Long weekend

Cousin Taylor giving Grey a ride in her shopping cart

Well, we had a busy extended weekend. Matthew and I decided to venture out and battled the crowds on black Friday. It wasn’t as bad as I expected but then again we left our house around 9am and I’m thinking the pandemonium begins around 4am. Greyson got to spend time with grandma and grandpa Stokes during our shopping experience. He showed off his jumping skills in the jumperoo! He literally jumps nonstop for 30 minutes without a fuss.

Tomorrow will be a long day. Greyson has surgery scheduled at 11am. I am already fretting and thinking over the “what ifs”. I’m most concerned with the wait. Greyson can not have breast milk after 6am and I am so worried about him being hungry. From our experience in the NICU, the pediatric surgery department definitely works on their own schedule, which is understandable due to unexpected emergencies. I plan to stay the night with Grey but this depends on the type of room arrangements we are offered. However, I’m sure either way they can squeeze in some room for mom. I’ll crawl up into the hospital crib if needed :) Please pray that everything goes smoothly.

On a sad note, a couple that I went to school with lost their baby this week. Baby Luke was born at 24 weeks and fought to live a few days. I am so happy that mom and dad had the opportunity to spend some time with their precious son- what a fighter! Please pray for the Atkins family, peace and comfort is needed. My heart has been so heavy for this family.

Sunday, November 22, 2009


So we've been running around the house with Grey, our new cowboy! My Aunt Ellen and Grandma are visiting from IN so I was sure to introduce them to the cowboy this morning. I knew the hat would bring a few laughs but we actually ended up in tears. Honestly, we have these moments often. These are truly tears of happiness. How did we manage to get here? I cry not because what I fear might happen but I cry for the triumph of trusting again. I trust in myself that Greyson is going to be healthy. You know there were many times during our NICU stay when I thought the grief was going to suck the life out of me. At times the grief was so intense. You know, grief is mostly associated with loss, however, what I felt was definitely grief. Something so precious had been taken too soon. I read once that you should plan ahead for grief triggers. Well, I dropped off a gift to one of our very special nurses the other day and she was working in the Stahlman NICU. This is the NICU that Greyson was first taken to for several weeks after birth. I walked back through those doors and the memories were fresh. Smell has such a strong power to vividly bring back memories and I remembered the smell most. The NICU world still exist. I think that was the most disturbing. Monitors were chiming and nurses were busy buzzing around isolettes. Our nurse was anxiously awaiting the arrival of a new admission and chatted while aggressively watching the doors for their new baby. It felt good to see our nurse again but sadness had settled. Babies will continue to be born too soon. The tiniest are fighting right now to survive. I've been thinking a lot lately about our journey. November is prematurity awareness month like I mentioned in one of my latest post. We won't ever forgot our experience. However, I don't want to ever forget that more than a million preemies will die each year.

Jump jump

And the baby jumps!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Yum Yum!

Greyson is eating baby food! So far he has eaten bananas, peaches, sweet potatoes and green beans. He is a wonderful eater and appears to enjoy every bite. I am making all his baby food fresh right now with my baby cook. Tonight we pureed fresh bananas and I stopped to give him a couple bites, which he loved.

By the way, we went to the doctor on Monday and Grey weighs 13 pounds 5 ounces. He received his first H1N1 vaccine and has truly been a trooper- no fever or fussiness.

Oh and November is Prematurity Awareness Month so you all will probably be hearing more from me on this topic :)

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Little Biscuit


2 months ago

Little Biscuit.

For some reason I have been calling Grey little biscuit all weekend. Maybe it’s because he too is warm and delicious.

I definitely noticed this morning that Greyson no longer fits in his NICU bath bucket. I haven’t used this tub in about 2 month and I was shocked to see his little limbs hanging over the sides. He is getting big. I say this like 100 times a week and then follow it with a long whiny sigh.

We’ve scheduled surgery to correct his inguinal hernia for the 30th of this month. I’ve been putting this off for some time now. I have such strong emotions surrounding this surgery. I do not want my baby staying another night in the hospital. I started to cry the other day on the phone when talking to the nurse. She tells me that he can’t have breast milk after 6am and I start crying. I wonder if that is the usual response from a parent.