3 months

Look at my progress!

Daddy & Grey

Just wanted to check in and let everyone know that we are still chilling in Pod A.
Greyson continues to dazzle us with his progress. He is such a big boy now. Last night he weighed 5 pounds 15 ounces. We continue to work on bottle feeds. Moreover, I fed him 20 ml last night and he did great- even acted like he wanted more!!

I haven’t received concrete confirmation but coming home the third week in July still looks promising. We are beyond eager to get him home. Matthew held him for a long time last night and when we attempted to put him back in his crib he cried each time. Matthew would pick him back up and hold him until he was peaceful and then we would try again… this went on for about 40 minutes. I must say, putting him back in the crib, turning down the lights and leaving was heart wrenching, it feels anything but natural. However, I have drug my suitcase to work and Mr. Man and I will have a sleepover tonight! Last week, Grey, Nurse Jenny and I had a little slumber party as well. I didn’t get much sleep but surprisingly I felt great.

Pod A

Well Folks, we are moving right up in the NICU world. Greyson has been moved to Pod A. This is very exciting, pod A is the “go home pod!” We seem to be on track with my due date (July 6). Pod A is like having your own private suite. Television, private bath, fold-out couch and Grey in a crib! When we receive confirmation that Greyson will be coming home soon (say 2 weeks). I will start staying the night with Mr. Man. However, I’m tempted to drag in my blankets and have a little sleepover now.

Overall, we are doing well. We continue to practice with breast/bottle feeding. Greyson didn’t do so well yesterday with the bottle. Lots of gagging and he wanted to keep his tongue at the top of his mouth. Therefore, we are going to bring in a speech therapist for a feeding consult. Speech therapist work with premature babies to implement early feeding intervention and will provide an assessment of any issues. Basically the speech therapist will provide an analysis of Greyson’s feeding skills, which includes suck swallow breathe coordination and the ability to maintain a calm organized state during feeds. Preemies will get so excited about feeding that they forget to breathe or simply choose not to breathe so they can focus on the food.

Oh and I almost forgot, Mr. Piggie weighed in last night at 5 pounds 9 ounces.

Piglet

Well, Mr. Greyson is growing right along! I use to see an ornery little man, now I see an ornery little piglet! He even makes snorting sounds. Grey weighs 4 pounds 13 ounces- he is excelling in the weight department. Moreover, his feeding tube has been moved from his intestines to his belly and he is just doing great! Soon he will go from constant feeds to bolus feeds, which can be another challenge. However, we are simply delighted with his progress- I am so proud of him.

We had 2 showers this weekend, which were so much fun. Greyson has enough clothes to never wear the same thing twice- he will be a fashionable little piglet! Matthew and I are so fortunate to have such wonderful family, friends and co-workers. Everyone has been so supportive during this difficult journey. Unless you are a keeper of time, there isn’t much you can do in a situation like this. It is simply the task of waiting. My Aunt and I recently had a discussion of time and its ability to “heal wounds.” And this was our conclusion- In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, starts to cover the wounds with scar tissue and the pain lessens but the wounds are still present just not so deep. After having Greyson- I felt insane, literally, I thought I was losing my mind. I couldn’t remember anything and I concluded that I had broken synapses in my brain b/c my thoughts would simply drop off, now I realize this was my mind’s defensive mechanism. Numb all thoughts until she has the ability to find the strength to move beyond the pain. By the way- I’m not sure if I ever found the strength- it was given to me.

Okay, we are off to the hospital to see Grey Grey. I am going to tell him about all the wonderful gifts he received… and bring a few new books for story time.

*Matthew took the above picture on Friday evening and I just love it.

4 Pounder!!

Yep, it’s true… Greyson weighs 4 pounds! I can not believe we have come so far. It is truly astounding. Just 2 months ago, Matthew and I were leaving the hospital and Matthew said in a very defeated voice “why do we have the sickest baby in the NICU?” While Grey was in the Stahlman NICU it was clearly obvious that he was one of babies that needed the most care. He was also the smallest… from what we could see. However, today we see a meaty little 4 pounder with a double chin!

Another milestone, we attempted to breast feed today! Greyson’s feeding tube has been moved from his mouth to his nose, giving him a clear entrance for proper sucking. This is something we will continue to work on, Grey had a very confused expression (we captured the look above) Honestly, he was making such funny faces I could not stop laughing. I’m sure some of the confusion was coming from the vibrated feel of my laughter. Again- this is a milestone that I could not envision… I could not see us getting here.

We received a beautiful quilt in the mail today (thank you Lois) and the note urged us to actually use the quilt- "put in on the floor and allow the baby to play on it." Well, that is exactly what we will do. I can see Greyson playing on this quilt; I can see him in our home, playing with his toys, simply being a baby. I have had such difficulty seeing beyond the NICU; a daily battle with fear. I have been incapacitated by the unknown and finally it is letting up.

We started dressing Greyson this week. Above are a few shots of our little man looking like a newborn.

My Pacifier

I just wanted to share a little video of Greyson suckling his pacifier. I’m sure this will feel much more natural once all those tubes are out of his mouth. We are hoping to remove the feeding tube sometime in the next two weeks and attempt bolus feeds. Bolus feedings are delivered four to eight times per day; each feeding lasting about 15 to 30 minutes. The advantages of bolus feedings over continuous drip feeding are that bolus feedings are more similar to a normal feeding pattern. Greyson is currently on a continuous drip feeding. Feeding is going to our next big challenge. We tried bolus feeds in the beginning but Greyson was sensitive to the volume and his little belly was simply to immature to digest properly. Furthermore, this is a common challenge among preemies and we will take it slow.