Greyson

Passing on Pediasure

2011-11-28T19:08:00.001-08:00

Life is speeding by and I’m neglecting my blog… Is it really December in 2 short days?! It seems like Fall came and went before we even captured the beauty of the leaves. Old man winter is knocking at the door – I’d love to keep him away a little longer.

I’ve been thinking about this blog entry for about 3 weeks. One of the main goals of my blog is to provide support and real life advice to families with preemies, while allowing you a few glimpses into our everyday life as well. As you all know, Greyson and feeding continues to be a challenge. Like many micropreemies the battle of weight gain is constant. Greyson was sick with a mean stomach bug at the end of October. He vomited for 5 days straight and after laundering every blanket/towel/rug in my home I decided to listen closely to our pediatricians’ advice and introduce Grey to the BRAT diet. The BRAT diet consists of bananas, rice, apple sauce and toast. Grey’s BRAT diet was made up of sweet potato cereal puffs for infants, apples and crackers. Most challenging was removing Pediasure from his diet. It was hard to mentally deny him the bottle that I value so much – this is his main source of calories and fat. It was also difficult to ignore his pleas for a “Baba.” However, after 2 days on the BRAT diet, it was obvious to many of us that Grey was truly hungry and interested in food. He even said several times “Let’s eat!” I have to admit, I was shocked to hear him make this statement. He was hungry and willing to put anything in his mouth. On day 4, I maintained my strength and did not give in to the Pediasure - I was allowing Grey to drink soy milk. I didn’t want the dairy to upset his stomach and cause further vomiting. I eventually found Bright Beginnings Pediatric soy milk at the grocery and bought a case – what appears to be Pediasure’s equivalent in soy form. Here’s what I know – Grey’s appetite has increased in 3 weeks. We’ve had one vomiting spell since the switch. Many of you know that we struggle with vomiting and this has been going on for too long. I’ve discussed this issue with many of the health care providers that make up Grey’s team. No one has ever recommended that we stop the Pediasure or that Pediasure may be related to our intermittent vomiting spells.

I have this disturbing suspicion that Pediasure was causing our previous issues with vomiting. We are on our 4th week with no Pediasure and Grey continues to show a new interest in food. He eats chicken nuggets now! I used the word “disturbing” because I am truly troubled that I may have been causing many of Grey’s feeding issues with the everyday Pediasure consumption. I have this idea in my head that Pediasure was causing him to feel sick and many times causing him to be physically sick. I am not confident at this time that my suspicions are factual but I am going to continue to monitor his progress closely. Here’s what I do know, I spent some time researching Pediasure and I’m not the only mother of preemie who has experienced these vomiting spells. I read another parent’s blog and our experiences are almost parallel. Her son was started on Pediasure and then began randomly vomiting after 4-5 weeks. After she stopped the Pediasure her son’s vomiting also stopped. I continue to pray that we too may have found a contributing factor to our many feeding issues.

I’m also thinking about having Greyson tested for food allergies. Many people that witness his intermittent vomiting mention it makes them think he has a food allergy or intolerance that is causing such a harsh response. He literally projectile vomits – it’s like someone pushes back a flap in his esophagus and squeezes his stomach of all its contents (the visual was probably unnecessary).

I realize that writing an entire blog entry on vomit may seem extreme and leave you with an unpleasant feeling. However, I need to share our trials to educate others. I will continue to post about our NO Pediasure diet. We are 22 lbs today and I’m praying Grey continues to tip the scales. We need a WIN!

Mini Pizza with big Flavor!

2011-10-07T11:31:00.000-07:00

Yes, I’m still spending lots of time in the kitchen! I feel compelled to share good recipes with friends. So the other night I made mini pepperoni pizza. Not only were they tasty but they were fun to make too!
I feel so much better about actually making recipes instead of throwing freezer foods into the oven. So, for all of you that have little ones who like pizza or big ones that like pizza this recipes is worth a try.

Here’s what you need:

• 3-4 Tortillas
• A jar of marina or better yet pizza sauce
• Mozzarella cheese
• Mini pepperonis that you now see popping up @ your local grocery
• Italian spices like basil and dried oregano to spice up your sauce – I also added parmesan cheese to my sauce which enhanced the flavor.

Step 1:

1. Preheat Oven to 400 Degrees
2. Using the top of a jar – cut out circular crusts using the tortillas – I used the top of a Ball jar and got 3 crusts from one tortilla and I was using smaller tortillas too.
3. Place the bottom of your crusts in a muffin pan – they should fit nicely with a little tortilla covering the sides.
4. Add a spoonful of pizza sauce (with added spices for flavor) and parmesan cheese to thicken the sauce
5. Top with mozzarella and mini pepperonis
6. Cook until done – probably about 12 – 15 minutes (I can’t remember how long)

Wah-la! Delicous little homemade pizzas.

*I did not invent this recipes, I either read it in a magazine or on a cooking blog*

Eating Woes Continue

2011-10-06T09:20:00.000-07:00

Here’s a little update about Mr. Meddler. Grey is healthy and active like any other 2 year old. He is still significantly underweight and I received a call last week letting us know that we have made it to the top of the waiting list for feeding therapy. Wow, that took about 7 months. And it is projected that it will take an additional 4 weeks for insurance to confirm that G actually needs the therapy – of course being born 15 weeks too soon isn’t enough evidence.

So, I’ll wait for the call from my insurance company. My expectations for this therapy are low; however, I’ll take the slightest gain as an improvement. We definitely have some work to do in the eating department. Grey is 27 months corrected and weighs 21.4 pounds. Honestly, it’s an everyday battle and I personally think we should qualify for family feeding therapy! I’d have to bring in Gigi for a much needed therapy session. Her dedication to Grey’s health and weight is endless.

I guess it’s important that we recognize there is a difference between being a picky eater and actually having a toddler with sensory food aversions. You might be thinking, so what are the symptoms of a toddler with sensory food aversions. I’ll describe some specific characteristics of Grey, which puts him into this category. G consistently spits out food, he is bothered by the textures of foods and refuses certain foods like purees. He’s disruptive a meal times and prefers to destroy his food instead of eating it. Many children with food aversions prefer a diet of sugary foods which is true for G as well – he’s always up for a cookie or a handful of M&Ms. I must interject here and say we have seen an improvement. He eats better @ Gigi’s when his cousins are present and eating. I usually put him in his highchair @ dinnertime and give him a few food items, which I know he prefers and I walk away and completely ignore him. He becomes hypersensitive in his feeding chair – doesn’t like anything to be on his hands, if I ask him a question he spits out whatever is in his mouth – this one drives me crazy. I find chewed up food balls all over my house! Lots of half chewed raisins and pepperonis.

Anyway – I hope this feeding therapy helps – I really do.

Here is a recent pic of G and Matt – they just happened to be dressed alike on this day so I snapped a quick picture.

Where's the flour?

2011-10-05T06:50:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking about turning my blog into a baking blog! I'm not being completely serious but something about Fall weather drives me into the kitchen and I can’t seem to stop researching delicious baking ideas.

Recently I whipped up some mini snicker cheesecakes for Matthew and Grey. I made a mint cookie recipe for Matthew and I must say they were good! I’m documenting my baking trials so we remember our favorites. Below are some shots from the kitchen.

Finally Fall

2011-09-04T10:11:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I’ve been a bit negligent on updating the blog – I apologize, especially to those who have sent me personal emails telling me to get busy!
We’ve been very busy lately. July/August is the most demanding time of year for me at work. Matt is also busy with home designs and a few side projects. It’s amazing how time slips by – I’m still startled that it’s September. However, I am excited that we are finally entering the fall season. I love everything about fall! Pumpkins, craft fairs, cool weather, and beautiful leaves. I truly enjoy walking across Vanderbilt’s campus in the fall – it’s gorgeous.

We just had Grey’s 2 year checkup and all is good, except, for his weight (not a big surprise). Grey weighed 22 pounds at this appointment – including clothes. It’s fair and accurate to say he is small. We are still significantly off the chart… I’m really starting to detest the growth chart. I’ve agreed to try feeding therapy again. I think I’m to the point where I would try anything. However, Grey does eat. He’s overly particular about his choices but really what 2 year old eats everything you introduce – I’m hoping very few for my own sanity. He’s particular and favor’s meats like sausage and pepperonis and likes fruit like apples and grapes. He’s a huge fan of mini reese’s cups and we allow them every day if he wants them. Yesterday he ate eggs and cheese – huge success! This morning Matt tried getting him to take a spoon full of coconut oil – fail!

Grey’s becoming more skillful with this mischief. He is truly an explorer. Yesterday we had him at the pool and he ran around exploring until he found something of interest – a friend’s camera. I saw the look in his eye – the camera was going to end up in the pool! I jogged through the pool water as quick as anyone’s legs can carry you in water – I caught the camera before it made a splash. Now these are the moments when I need “time out” to mean something.

He still favors the phrase “mine!” and his little voice is so funny that we’ve encouraged this impolite phrase with constant laughter. He also says “hooray, I did it” about very simple tasks like opening a box that he’s opened 100 times. My favorite is “where’s daddy” which is said 50 times a day. I must say that Grey is more tender than terrible. He still loves to cuddle and give kisses, which means the world to me. He’s a sweet lovey baby still.

Beginning to introduce the potty - more to come...

To the Mountains

2011-06-30T17:13:00.000-07:00

Well – we took a little trip to Chattanooga to visit the aquarium and the creative discovery children’s museum. The penguins were the highlight of the aquarium and the “river play” was a blast at the museum. It was a bit relieving to have a few hours of acceptable hands on play. Grey is very hands on with everything, which causes Matt & I to constantly chase him down in stores and our home to remove potentially dangerous items. We also planned at visit to Rock City – how could we not stop when there are like 600 billboards along the way to Chattanooga marketing the tourist attraction – I felt like they earned my business. And wow, talk about nature’s beauty! I had no idea that I’d actually enjoy this journey. The ancient rock formations and breathtaking views were definitely appreciated… I do mean breathtaking if you are any bit uneasy of heights. I experienced an innate cautiousness at many of the amazing views. I couldn’t even focus on the famous “see 7 states” because I was to busy monitoring each foot step while holding Grey. One of my favorite memories will be Greyson whispering "monsters" each time we entered a dark cavern.

Grey giving the fake penguin a sweet hug.

Everyone say "Cheese" for our Cheesy moment!

Lover's Leap

I hope there's incoming teeth in Grey's mouth b/c he's back to eating his hands!

March for Babies!

2011-05-01T09:09:00.001-07:00

Thank you so much to all the wonderful family and friends who supported our March of Dimes walk this year. We couldn’t have asked for a nicer day – the weather was gorgeous. It is awesome to see so many families coming together to walk for stronger healthier babies!

After the walk I decided to come home and make an updated video of Greyson. Anything I do to encourage another family with a mircopreemie. There were many dark hours in the NICU when my faith was minimal and our future was grave. However, I never gave up hopes. I prayed for hours and poured out my love everyday… I remember sitting next to the incubator and thinking… I’m sending my love through those plastic walls and Greyson will feel it and know how important he is to us all.

Well, here’s the updated video:

Toot is Two!

2011-04-06T17:54:00.001-07:00

Exciting things to report: Greyson is two! Yay! Another successful healthy year with our sweet boy. However, I am a bit nervous if I’m suddenly expected to hit a terrible twos patch in our lives. Grey is quite the handful as it is. Seriously, I’m not exaggerating at all. This baby keeps you on your toes every minute of the day. I received a phone call today from Gigi who usually reports on her daily thrills and scares produced by the one and only. Today Gigi was talking to a neighbor while G played in the yard. After getting a view yards away Gigi noticed Grey had climbed into the power wheel and was off! Speeding through the neighbor’s yard while rolling through their mulch and taking a quick right toward the road. Gigi immediately abandon her conversation with the neighbor and kicked off her flip flops for the sprint. Sadly, these stories are very typical. Matthew just sprinted down our hallway the other day when we both heard unexpected running water! Grey had climbed into the tub and turned the HOT water on full blast. He was soaked in his jammies and looking at us like we were the crazy ones.

We had our follow up visit at the preemie clinic on Tuesday of this week. Grey was evaluated by several people throughout his assessment every one of them commented on how he was “busy”. I guess busy is a nice way to say this baby has destroyed our evaluation room and unplugged every piece of equipment we use! Grey was given the Bayley assessment. Bayley scales of infant development are used to describe the current developmental functioning of infants and to assist in diagnosis and treatment planning for infants with developmental delays or disabilities. The test is intended to measure a child's level of development in three domains: cognitive, motor, and behavioral. Grey passed all areas, with our lowest score being 83 and our highest being 100%. Of course the 100% was scored in motor assessment. His fingers may look like little slugs but they are making things happen! And his dexterity is pretty impressive. Often times he is frustrated because his ambition outweighs his physical ability – like the determination to lift a heavy object.

The area of concern is weight – nothing new to the Stokes household. A constant everyday challenge is getting G to eat! He is still on pedisure – 3 bottles a day along with 3 meals and snacks. However, he still hasn’t reached the charts. He used to be in the third percentile for height but he has fallen off again. He weighed in at 20.6 pounds minus shoes. Not very impressive for a two year old. This past weekend he was wearing 6-12 month pants that were 3 inches to short! We actually received a referral from the clinic to see a feeding therapist/specialist. There have been some recent concerns – unexpected gagging and vomiting. Chewing foods and spitting them back out – which he has done for quite some time. I’m open to any advice or assistance in this area of weakness. It’s obvious he isn’t malnourished and he looks completely healthy to strangers but we were really hoping he would have closed the gap by now. Our dietitian recommended a different kind of pedisure that has more calories per ounce. She forgot to mention it is not on the shelves at any local stores and is cost $100+ for 24 cans, which would get us 10 days. We already pay over $100 a month in pedisure and this new form would cost a lot more. And this is where the frustration lies. I plan to place a call to BCBS tomorrow to see if my insurance will cover any of the expense but the typical answer for all this preemie stuff is no. I work hard and pay hefty insurance premiums and I find this so disappointing.

On a happier note, we are Marching for Babies on March 17th @ Centennial Park in Nashville. A wish that one day all babies will be born healthy. Please walk with us or donate to this wonderful foundation.

March for Babies!

2011-03-03T19:07:00.000-08:00

March for Babies… What it means to me

The March of Dimes is gearing up for its biggest fundraiser, which raises money for research, education, advocacy and to support families who have to spend those traumatic first few weeks or even months of their baby's life in the neonatal intensive care unit.

The March for Babies walk is very personal to my family. Greyson was born weighing a mere 1 pound 10 ounces and he was on the edge of viability. We spent 102 days in the NICU and every one of those days was difficult. The first few weeks were the most painful. I watched a precious innocent baby boy fight for his life because my body failed him. I suffered from HELLP syndrome @ 24 weeks and managed to carry Grey for another week – delivering him 15 weeks too soon. Essentially my body was shutting down and in order to save my life – Greyson was delivered. Going back to that time isn’t a memory I revisit often. I kept a journal during this difficult time and today I choose not to read Grey’s journal. Sometimes I’ll be looking for something in his closet and glimpse the green of his journal sitting on a shelf. I’m not interested in reading my responses to the heartache of having an extremely premature baby. However, I am fortunate for our Nurse who gave us the journal and encouraged me to document our journey. I will read the journal again and share it with Greyson – he’ll then understand why we call him precious all the time – his life was considered valuable from the beginning and we fought for every hour along with the support our health care team at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital. It’s been 2 years and some may assume that we are only stronger. However, there are many times that I definitely feel weaker. The further we move from those memories the safer I feel and subsequently the memories become more frightening to revisit. How did we get here? When exactly did Grey’s medical path take a drastic turn for the better? The medical path for a micropreemie is often unknown. I truly believe we were blessed to have taken the road less traveled- the road to a successful healthy life with no long standing complications. Greyson is a miracle.

So this is why I am passionate about March of Dimes. Prematurity is the leading cause of newborn death, and babies who survive often face the risk of lifetime health challenges, including learning disabilities, cerebral palsy and intellectual disabilities. Babies shouldn’t have to fight for their lives. Their hardest days should not be their first days. The March of Dimes is making it a mission to provide research and support to the families of babies born too soon. The March of Dimes supports research aimed at preventing premature birth, birth defects, and infant mortality.

If you feel compelled to save the lives of babies then please make a donation today. Skip the Starbucks Latte this morning and donate $5 to March for Babies!

Click here

Is that the Sun Shining?

2011-02-13T18:19:00.000-08:00

I think it’s safe to say that we’ve had a harsh winter this year. I moved to TN in 93and we’ve hands down had the most snow this year. Snow is beautiful and exciting however, the excitement quickly vanishes when it results in treacherous driving conditions and 3 hour commutes to and from work. Grey only knows that we rush him from car to house and yell “its cold” as he giggles is way through the chill of the wind. We are definitely welcoming the warmer weather and longer days for play. Today we were pleasantly surprised with 60 degrees! I was so eager to take Greyson outside that I paced the floor while he napped. I even turned up my house cleaning music a little louder than usual in hopes that he wouldn’t sleep too deep and miss the sunshine! Matthew and I decided to take him to the park by our house. I wasn’t sure if the excursion would be a success because he’s still small for jungle gyms – however, Mr. Fearless welcomed the play ground with open arms and squeals of joy. He didn’t even hesitate before running to a slide and zooming down. Don’t let his size stir any doubt – he’s a big boy with a big attitude. We went to Cracker Barrel the other night and he ran through the toy area and saying “hey!” to all the sales associates. One lady bent down and showed him an animal and said “what’s this?” and Grey said “I don’t know” She immediately left and came back with 2 other associates and said… you have to see this baby talking! Sometimes you just don’t feel like explaining that he was a 25 weeker so the women watched in awe as the infant spoke words… this infant is almost 2! Speaking of size, I think we have hit 20 lbs. Grey is still finicky when it comes to food. It’s like we don’t have any consistency – besides grapes. He loves something one day and won’t even touch it the next. I made homemade blueberry pancakes this morning and he wouldn’t even open his mouth… sad. However, we keep trying foods and continue to tap into our culinary creative side.

Oh and I must comment that since the tubes, Grey is really starting to talk. He’s certainly interested in mimicking sounds and words. Not just sounds and words – sentences! I have to admit I’m a bit relieved - a fear to check off my list – he will talk.

Here are some pictures from our day. Thank you Mr. Sunshine for making our day!

Hello 2011

2011-01-16T17:20:00.001-08:00

We’ve had a pretty eventful 2011 thus far – 15 days into the new year! We began our year with a visit to the emergency room where Greyson received 4 stitches after lacerating his chin. Grey climbed into cousin Taylor’s baby stroller and flipped it – landing chin first on the hardwood. Tomorrow we go into surgery in hopes of draining that pesky middle ear fluid! Greyson will have tubes placed into both ears. Our day will begin early and I’m hopeful everything will go smoothly. I’m also hoping we see a little less of Vanderbilt Children’s hospital the remainder of this year. Little man continues his fearless exploration, which leaves us all a bit nervous. The other night he was dragging my largest pot down the hall, I’m pretty sure it is bigger and outweighs him. Matt noticed blood on his face and rushed him into the bathroom - just a busted a lip. I guess the pot was winning the tug a war but Grey wasn’t ready to retreat back to normal play. Gigi called me at work the other day to tell me that somehow Grey managed to climb into his crib – unassisted while she was out of the room. She was truly stumped and overall concerned – I wasn’t surprised. He’s been bossing with his tiny finger and shaking it at Matthew and I while repeating a very authoritative “no, no, no!” I haven’t decided how to handle this new habit but I see a time out chair in our future.

I’m happy to report that Greyson has been drinking more pediasure. We are very close to our goal – 3 bottles a day. I’m eager to get an accurate weight tomorrow. When traveling with me he’s still in his infant carrier, which his legs dangle over at this point. He’s definitely outgrown the car seat but he hasn’t reached the 20 pound weight requirement. However, he's been loving the new mini reese cup bites.

Goodbye December

2010-12-19T10:09:00.000-08:00

I clearly remember thinking… good riddance 2009! I was beyond ready to put that year past us. Now the time is drawing near to say goodbye to 2010. Another year that seemed to slip away.

So many people have observed Matthew and I with Grey and they always seem to advise… cherish these moments because they will be gone before you know it. There is much truth behind that statement. Lately I’ve been torturing myself with videos of Grey as a tiny infant. How do I watch these videos without getting that awful lump in my throat and yearning to hold his infant form? It makes me think of the quote… the good times of today are the sad memories of tomorrow. This isn’t always true but seems to fit how I feel about baby Grey. I love looking at the joyous photos, especially when we first brought him home, but then I am sad that it is gone. Sad that I cannot stop the clock- for just one minute.

Okay, enough with being sad that Grey isn’t a tiny baby that needs to be held by me every second. Grey is still on track and continues to amaze us! He’s really starting to talk! His favorite past time is to be carried around the house while pointing to objects saying, “I need that!” Oddly enough, he seems to need everything! I’m still convinced he is the world’s top Meddler. Matthew and I never got on board with all the baby protective stuff (I know it sounds bad) Well now all our cabinets are vulnerable to his curiosity. He’s masterful and can empty them in seconds! It is often that I find a pot or pan in my bedroom closet or my toothbrush in the toilet (icky!) And I won’t even rattle your nerves with the climbing stories… but its unreal.

Playing with his trucks: thanks Gigi and Poppie

One of the many familiar faces of December

We took Grey to Opryland to see the lights - the hotel is still amazing even after the May flood

Grey looks like a big boy in this pic - but he's not :)

We love you all and hope you had a wonderful year!

Pancakes in the Morning...

2010-12-19T08:47:00.000-08:00

There are very few food items that Grey actually enjoys. However, we have identified one that he really likes... pancakes!!

We have pancakes sometimes for breakfast, lunch & dinner. We load up on the butter & syrup! Other than pancakes, he favors healthy foods like apples, grapes, strawberries and cheeses.

This morning we got up and made pancakes... again!

Family Photos

2010-11-27T09:39:00.000-08:00

We recently traveled out to the farm for some family pictures. We had a fun time. Grey was intrigued by his surroundings! He loved the creek and desperately wanted to play in the water and leaves.

Below are some of my favorites

Grey Grey ending the shoot with a mini fit!

Battle of the Bulge

2010-11-16T10:20:00.000-08:00

Battle of the Bulge

We at the Stokes house are fighting for the bulge! Greyson had his 18 month appointment yesterday. We also had a follow-up appointment with our nutritionist. The stats were not shocking… Grey is small for his age – to be expected. However, he’s a bit smaller than anyone of us would like. He weighed 18lbs 14 ounces. I have to admit I was a bit shocked to see the numbers. I was just telling a friend the other day that he weighed close to 20 lbs. I guess I was fantasying about someone else’s chubby little baby. Sitting across from the nutritionist discussing Grey’s diet in detail, I was beginning to have doubts. Am I doing all I can do? I should be working harder – I should be working smarter. Every bite needs to count! Every calorie is important. We decided to take Greyson off Neosure (high calorie infant formula) and begin giving him strictly Pedisure – 3 cans a day. He also needs to have 3 high calorie meals along with 2-3 snacks a day. I can tell you right now… this is more than he is interested in eating. At this time, Grey eats about 2 meals a day with numerous snacks throughout the day- however; these snacks may result in the consumption of 2 grapes. He is so picky and antsy when it comes time to eat.

I have my work cut out for me with this new challenge – I have to get creative! Last night he had a pedisure milk shake ( pedisure & pumpkin pie ice cream), tater tots with ketchup & mayo, lots of cheese and numerous sips of water. His little belly was probably turning. Grey’s newest obsession is my water glass - he demands sip after sip. Of course he chooses a zero calorie interest… sad.

We have also decided to proceed with having tubes placed in Grey’s ears. Middle ear fluid still exists in both ears. Last week we had our 3rd hearing screen and the results remained the same - middle-ear fluid pressing on the eardrum preventing it from vibrating normally, which keeps Grey from hearing properly. The test shows he can hear but not at normal levels. We’ve waited long enough and I feel tubes are a wise decision at this time. We have our surgery scheduled for Jan.

Well, that’s what’s new in our world.

City Street

2010-10-23T19:15:00.000-07:00

City Streets

We spent Saturday running errands and strolling around downtown Nashville. Matthew and I both have a love for the city and I am especially interested in urban life. Living in a small downtown condo sounds ideal to me. I am especially interested in “walkable” options… we currently can’t walk anywhere, except the neighborhood pool. Maybe one day in the future I can convince my husband that urban life is for us. All 3 of us cramped into a tiny downtown condo- fighting for closet space – and alone time. I’d make the trade for a stress free commute and a within walking distance grocery!

We had lunch at Ru Sans and attempted to share some sushi bites with Grey – he wasn’t interested. He actually wasn’t interested in food at all today. Unfortunately, I think he is battling a cold and I pray it stays at the cold stage and doesn’t progress into something more serious. I was actually just researching foods for 18 month olds. I’m starting to feel like Grey eats the same things every week. Tater tots, grapes, strawberries, bananas, and peanut butter are the main foods of his diet – kind of lame. Of course I add the occasional squash, sweet potatoes and carrots but he’s gotten very picky. He’s not interested in my homemade baby food- which makes me a bit sad. He prefers to eat items that he can pick up or jab around with a fork or spoon. I think he has surpassed baby food. If anyone has any special toddler recipes or ideas to share- please pass them along. I do my best to introduce new foods but lately I’ve gotten boring in the kitchen.

Below are some pictures from our day. Yes- my hair is no longer blonde – a decision my hair dresser surprised me with this weekend…

The Bebes

2010-10-02T18:19:00.001-07:00

Gigi recently had the babies’ pictures professionally taken by Robin Reed, Fullness of Grace Photography. She did a great job and managed to capture some fine photos of 3 active toddlers- I wasn’t there to witness this balancing act but I can imagine it was pretty impressive. We will treasure these pictures for years.

Grey Grey, TT & Maine Maine

I love these babies!

the barn

2010-10-02T17:26:00.000-07:00

We are still getting settled into our new home. Now that all the unpacking is complete we’ve had the opportunity to pause and enjoy some details. I absolutely love our back porch. The view is so simple and peaceful. We are fortunate to not have any homes behind our house… just a country view. Matthew and I have been drinking coffee in the mornings and discussing the old remnants of a barn that still exists. This old barn is so cool. I would love to see an old picture of what the barn looked like in its prime years. Today we ventured out to get a closer look…

Of course Grey tagged along...

And then back to the porch again to rest and admire the old barn

You know, I'm tempted to contact the developer of our community just to let him know how much we enjoy the old barn. I’d be terribly sad if I woke to find it demolished and a new home foundation in its place.

Moving along...

2010-09-20T10:20:00.001-07:00

So we have been moving. I can honestly say there is nothing I like about moving. After this weekend I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel… a few more boxes to go! For the past 10 days I have said at least once a day “I need ____.” I need a vacuum for hardwoods, I need a can opener that will actually open a can, I need a taller ladder, I need a kitchen table, I need a shower curtain, I need a moment to just think!

As I unpack a box and start sifting through items, Grey is right behind me re-loading the box. My counterproductive partner is amusing to watch. I’m positive he loves moving… a true meddler’s dream. Millions of boxes and items to meddle through daily! He absolutely loves dusting. He’s been running around for 10 days with a pledge hand duster. Seriously, I bought him a childrens Hoover vacuum and all he needed was a $3 hand duster to make him happy. I appreciate the help and I’m relieved he finds enjoyment in the mayhem.

So I have a new focus… our terrible, horrible, no good, very bad food system. Recently I’ve read very distributing statistics like 1 out of 3 children born in 2010 will have type 2 diabetes. Working 40 plus hours a week along with an exhausting commute doesn’t leave a lot of time for me to obsess about this topic but I am very concerned for my family. I also read recently that the FDA is considering passing genetically engineered salmon into our food system… say what? I don’t want to eat the genetically engineered salmon! I’m already consuming the creepy hormone, antibiotic rich chicken that’s doing who knows what to my body. Anyway- this is just a rant. I’m desperately seeking a stronger connection with our local farmers that produce sustainable foods. However, I’ve been learning that this process isn’t so easy. More to come on this topic for sure…

Welcome to our Home: notice "toot toot" in the lower right hand corner of the glass door :)

Our Blue Foyer. We’ve had a lot of discussions about this color blue. The color makes Uncle Pete think of water, it reminds Matthew and I of Seaside, one of our favorite vacation spots. Furthermore, we made the decision to not change our blue- we had originally doubted our paint selection.

The Baby Gate: Uncle Pete made us this awesome custom baby gate. He's very talented and we've been holding him hostage at our house for several weeks- this is not a joke.

Pumpkin Puffs: I took a moment out of our busy schedules to make pumpkin puffs! Fall is my favorite season and I love pumpkin.

The Climber

2010-09-05T16:02:00.001-07:00

So my baby is truly becoming a toddler. I can’t continue to deny reality…. He’s growing up (stopping for a moment to cry). I’m not sure when he turned into a toddler but it feels like overnight. He’s doing big boy things all the time. He loves to play outside and climb everything. He’s been a climber for a long time but now he truly has the ability to use his skills. His favorite adventure is currently the chair. He will find a way to climb into every chair in sight… then sit up like a big boy and wait for the praise! Just last night I was cooking dinner and turned around for about 3 minutes to tend the stove and when I turned around he was sitting in his high chair, proud as a peacock. I immediately thought that my husband or Uncle Pete has placed him in the chair but no one was around. I innocently asked “how did you get in there?!” Grey smiled and appeared very pleased with my concerned expression. I quickly removed him from the chair and casually mentioned to Matthew that he got into the high chair by himself… he seemed as equally confused by the statement. However, this morning I was able to capture the act on video! My baby is half toddler half monkey… which I’m not okay with either!

Climbed into the chair on Gigi's porch

Climbed into the rocker at our new house

Video Footage Coming Soon...

A Small Saboteur

2010-08-27T04:55:00.000-07:00

Someone who commits acts of sabotage earns the name saboteur.

Well friends and family, we have a saboteur among us! He deliberately weakens his parents through acts of disruption. He conceals his true intentions in the night by faking a pathetic cry. Once in the bed with his parents he starts his true disruptions. Head bombs is one of his new favs… standing and simply sitting on the heads of his sleeping parents. Circling kicks were in action last night. He rotates his body in a circular motion while providing kicks to both sets of parents. Singing songs in his exhausted parents ears… the lyrics consists of “no, no, no, no, no!” Unnecessary pillow sharing for Dad… try sleeping with a saboteur ½ inch from your face. And then there is the somewhat creepy laugh of the saboteur. Random acts of standing and walking around the bed while releasing a crazy giggle. This saboteur is surprisingly intuitive during his acts of disruption. One parent may arouse and say “please go to sleep!” And then attempt to roll away and hide from the saboteur. However, the saboteur will then crawl over their back and deliver a hug or cuddle with the tired parent… luring the parent back in with his sweet affection. Sometimes a parent may raise their voice and say something stern like "this isn’t going to happen again tomorrow night” and the saboteur will respond with a kiss. He’s clever and appropriately reactive.

Once the sabotage is committed and the work alarms sounds… the saboteur will sleep.

I caught a photo of him this morning- exhausted from this work... please beware

The Fohawk

2010-08-26T19:42:00.000-07:00

The time is coming soon that I am going to have to take action against this fluffy mane. However, I just can't disrupt the sweet baby curls right now. So if you see me out and about in a few months and Greyson has a mullet of curls and fluff just know that I'm aware. I'm thinking he can handle a couple snips when he's 2.

Oh the ears...

2010-08-20T18:53:00.000-07:00

So we had our follow up appointment on Wednesday with the audiologist and ENT doctor. Surprisingly, Greyson did better on this hearing test. I’m surprised because I had convinced myself that he definitely still had fluid in both his ears. As it turns out, he passed the hearing screen for his left ear and failed the right ear hearing screen. According to the ENT doctor @ VCH Grey still has some existing fluid and mucus in his right ear, which is most likely causing the hearing loss.

I explained to the ENT doctor that I was certain both ears probably contained middle ear fluid because Greyson is very wobbly at times. Seriously, he's a webble. Remember those toys “webbles wobble but they don’t fall down” However, this little webble does fall down! He’ll be running and quickly veer of track and end up bouncing off a wall or door. The doctor is convinced that this might not be due to his equilibrium being off but simply because our little guy is light on his feet. His current small frame and light weight isn’t giving him a solid grounding, especially when he’s zooming through the house.

I’m still concerned with Grey’s ears but I am relieved that he is hearing at a normal level in at least one ear. I reported to the doctor that he says at least 6 words ( Gigi, Momma, Dada, duck, Ball and the new favorite NO!) The doctor seemed very please that he says 6 words. The new “No!” is very entertaining. I do my best not to laugh but he says it with such conviction. Me: “Grey let’s put on your jam jams!” Grey: “no!” The way he says it is hysterical.

We have another appointment in almost 3 months and we will discuss surgery and tubes at that time if the fluid still exists.

For now Mr. Toot Toot is running the house! I wish every one of you could spend the day with him… he is just precious.

By the way- I've started Greyson on Pedisure in hopes of promoting some weight gain. He seems to really like the flavor and I'm excited to be adding extra calories.

The Conductor

2010-08-04T18:17:00.000-07:00

So Greyson has been doing a lot of commanding lately… all with his little pointer finger. As soon as I get him out of the crib in the morning he is pointing and grunting. He usually points to a high shelf for some brief meddling – then he points for us to leave the room – then he directs us down the stairs and into the kitchen… all with his little finger. However, if you misinterpret the direction then there are consequences to pay… the consequences usually involve Grey and the floor. My favorite is the slow motion fit he throws on the floor – he gently lays himself on the floor and kicks around a bit. And then there is the more aggressive attack, which involves throwing himself against cabinetry and doors. I do my best to ignore these moments but sometimes a few laughs escape… I’m dying to capture this on video.

The Ears

Our appointment is on the 18th to check the fluid in Grey’s middle ears. I just know the fluid still exist. He is back to constantly rubbing his ears. And then he has those days when he just cannot maintain his balance. He walks at an angle these days and unintentionally runs into furniture. I’m anxious to get this appointment over and to move on with a solution, which will ultimately be surgery- tubes, placed in his ears for drainage. I order to avoid speech delays it is vital we correct this problem to restore proper hearing.

I’m not sure if we have any new words to share. His current favorites:

Gigi
No No “while shaking his head”

Busy

2010-07-18T07:06:00.000-07:00

Wow! So life has been a little hectic lately. I went to a conference in California for a week and just got home this week. Talk about difficult. My heart was aching before I even boarded the plane. Sleeping at night seemed impossible- my mind was with Matthew and Greyson. However, we all made it through.

Matthew made an offer on a home while I was away. We are scheduled to close at the end of this month if all goes well... yay! Some parts of the home are unfinished, like upstairs flooring, so we have some work to do. Add it to our busy schedules.

Greyson continues to amaze us! He is so special to us. So special that it allows my mind to start thinking about having another Mr. Cute Cute. I don't intend on doing this anytime soon but I've allowed my mind to ponder the idea. Once you experience the love of baby it's hard to decrease the desire to have it again. However, I met up with an old friend the other day... I don't mean old literally... she was my friend in elementary school. She has 2 beautiful children. Her little girl is Greyson's age. She developed HELLP with both pregnancies. She personally has experienced lasting effects from the condition. She has seizures, lost feeling in one of her legs due to nerve damage and her vision was damaged. Through her journey she has met a mother who's now blind due to HELLP syndrome. I was shocked to hear this report. I knew there could be lasting effects but I hadn't met a mother to share her story.

Maybe I'll wait around for a few more years and hope the research for HELLP continues! I heard 40 was the new 30!

For now Greyson completely fills our hearts. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not grateful. His success is amazing to say the least. He has come far. July 11th was his corrected first birthday. We were told he wouldn't be walking by then... hopefully crawling. Well, he ran through the day.

GMS

2010-07-05T16:40:00.000-07:00

Fun in the Kitchen!

Grey is walking

2010-06-24T19:27:00.000-07:00

Grey is officially walking! He is even shaking his little booty! I couldn't resist posting this clip because it really makes me smile.

It seems the only way I can efficiently get my videos onto my blog is through youtube. Be sure to turn of the volume so you can hear that he is dancing to Beyonce!

">

Seaside

2010-06-14T10:46:00.000-07:00

Last week we took a family vacation to Seaside, Fl. For those of you not familiar with Seaside… google it! It is a peaceful little beach town that is beautiful and oh so cute! Destin, Fl is another popular vacation spot and Seaside is within a drive so if visiting Destin anytime soon I suggest you make the 30 minute trip to Seaside.

This was a much needed vacation for our family. I loved getting to spend every hour with Matthew and Greyson. The ocean was gorgeous (no tar balls or oil sightings). Grey seemed to enjoy his dips in the ocean and pools. I personally enjoyed the fresh shrimp, key lime pie, ice cream and shopping!

I was reading a magazine that described beach life in Seaside…

Life is different at the beach
Time doesn’t move hour to hour
But mood to moment
We live by the currents
Plan by the tides and follow the sun

This is true! For one week our lives were not controlled by time or work. I daydreamed often of owning one of the adorable cottages and being able to retreat to the beach when life gets hectic. I hope we can return again soon. I’m thankful that this almost fairy tale like town exist for those of us often too busy to truly enjoy family time.

Our Cottage

The Town

Photos for Flood

2010-06-11T20:07:00.000-07:00

Matthew and I recently had Greyson's picture taken for a charity event called "photos for flood" Some amazing Nashville photographers donated their time and skills to this event. Grey got 20 minutes with a photographer and we made a donation to the flood victims of Nashville.

Our photographer was Margo Keene : she did a great job and was fun to work with for our session!

Here are some of my favorite pictures from that day!

ENT

2010-06-11T19:38:00.000-07:00

Just an update: Grey has an appointment with the audiologist again in August and then we will meet with an ENT following this appt. Apparently it is difficult to get in with an ENT specialist this time of year. Or maybe it has something to do with the abundance of ear infections and surgeries needed to drain fluid in the ears of todays children. It seems like every time I talk to a parent they mention "oh yes, my child has tubes in their ears... no biggie" How come I didn't have multiple ear infections has a child? My siblings didn't have ear issues, my husband didn't have ear infections. I've researched recently that this new ear infection craze my have something to due with undiagnosed food allergies. Hmm... maybe it has something to do with all the chemicals that now taint our fruits and veggies. Heck, I don't know. Grey does not attend daycare, we don't put him to bed with a bottle, no second hand smoke. And, I worked very hard and exclusively pumped for 8 months to provide Grey with breast milk.

There is the chance that the fluid will resolve and hearing will return to normal. In the meantime, I need to determine if tubes is the correct path to take. I don't want to sign up for this surgery without doing my research. I'm just the typical worrisome mother wanting the best for her baby who has already struggled enough during his first year.

Fail...

2010-06-01T12:31:00.001-07:00

Okay so I’m a little frustrated, well to be completely honest I’m flat out troubled. Greyson and I met his audiologist this morning. He failed both hearing test. He has fluid in both ears. Really? I’m shocked since he just had a sick appointment last Monday and his ears were checked. And the week before our appointment I stopped by the walk-in clinic just to have his ears checked. Both appointments I received “clear” results. “Ears look good.” Now Grey fails both hearing screens b/c he has a fluid wall blocking sound in both ears. This is a big deal b/c it is possible that he has had fluid in his ears since the first ear infections which were over 4 weeks ago. Furthermore, the audiologist explained that it is impossible to continue with normal speech/language development when sound is completely muffled in both ears.

Now here is where the recent frustration comes from. I called Grey’s pediatrician’s office and spoke with a nurse who explained that fluid in the ear is not treated. Really? I asked if I should just skip an appointment with their office and make an appointment with the ENT (ears, nose & throat). She then explained that the earliest appointment is 3 weeks out. So we have an appt with the pediatrician on Thursday but I have no idea what we will resolve… if anything. Obviously she will look in his ears but right now there isn’t a sign of infection… just the fluid. Infection is treated- fluid is not. I mean having fluid in your ear can not be comfortable. I’ve had swimmer’s ear and it was awful and so painful. It is safe to assume that this hidden fluid problem is important!

By the way- I just read this “Middle ear fluid is a hidden problem that can powerfully affect our children's experiences of the world. When we are aware of its presence, we can take appropriate steps to insure that our kids have the richest opportunities to explore the fascinating world around us”

Grill Out

2010-05-31T16:21:00.000-07:00

Today we had Matthew's family over for burgers and hot dogs. Matthew is amazing on the grill and I must say everything was delicious. We had the usual entertainment... Greyson! He showed off by taking a few steps here and there.

Tomorrow Grey has his audiology appointment for his final hearing screen. This is a bit of relief since the state of TN sends me a letter each month letting me know that he does not have a hearing screen on file. Of course, Grey is in a higher risk category for having hearing loss due to his extreme prematurity. However, I'm confident he will do well tomorrow and his screen will be normal.

Here are a few pics from our day...

The Boys

Grandpa & Grey

All of Us

sweet sweet

2010-05-28T18:48:00.001-07:00

Pool Time

2010-05-22T20:18:00.001-07:00

tiny steps...

2010-05-16T10:36:00.000-07:00

Big News

Greyson is cutting his first tooth! There is no way I am going to restrain his wiggly body to capture a picture of his tiny toothie. And even bigger news… Grey is taking a few steps here and there. Last night he walked to me in the kitchen… about 4 steps. He’ll take about 2 steps and then it is like he realizes what’s happening and immediately plops down on his biscuit. He’ll probably be walking soon and then the real terror begins. He just loves to meddle. Just this morning he knocked over a floor lamp, pulled another lamp off a table (gave me a heart attack!) and somehow managed to turn off my wireless keyboard, which I didn’t even know was an option. He is a true meddler. I feel like I am chasing around a puppy. He’s chewed up my phone charger, eaten my mail, dumped the bathroom trash can, played in the toilet water (Gross- I know!), and drooled on countess items around the house. However, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am beyond thankful that Greyson is here. He’s really put life into perspective for so many of us.

More Calories...

2010-05-10T11:34:00.001-07:00

So we met with a Dietitian last week. Greyson weighed 16 pounds 9 ounces, which was a fantastic weight gain from his last appointment (15lbs 3 oz). However, his weight is comparable to a 6 month old and his adjusted age is 10 months. The Dietitian explained that it is important to help him catch up in the weight department b/c this can affect his overall growth development.

Here’s our plan:

4-5 bottles a day with 4oz of water and 3 full scoops of formula- add calories! It is a must that he stay on the high calories formula until July and then we might have to transition to Pedisure.

3 meals a day and snacks, snacks, snacks

I’m going to start adding butter/olive oil to the foods that I make him. I just made a breakfast batch that consisted of bananas, blackberries and peanut butter! Peanut butter is good and adds calories – I just worry about the choking hazard and that is why I threw it in the blender with the other fruits. And I must say the concoction was delish! I recently discovered that Grey loves Mexican rice and bean and the cheese dip! I’ll enviously watch as he indulges in bad calories! I’m slightly joking with that comment b/c it is important that he get all the needed nutrients and not just fill up on empty calories like sugar. Oh and I’ve bought avocados, which he now likes- more good fats.

So if anyone has any ideas on how to beef up my little biscuit… my ears are open!

News from the Preemie Clinic

2010-05-01T18:22:00.000-07:00

Development Update

I haven’t updated the blog with our preemie clinic appointment results. Grey had his one year follow up visit about 2 weeks ago. Overall they are happy with his progress. However, there is a bit of concern about Grey’s weight. At the appointment he weighed 15 pounds 3 ounces. He isn’t gaining weight as quickly as we would all like. Their immediate suggestion was more concentrated formula to increase calories. Our pediatrician recommended adding olive oil to his baby food. There is a variety of suggestions surrounding this topic but I have an appointment next week with a nutritionist, who will do a full evaluation. I’m happy to say that Grey has gained a full pound since the appointment so he’s over 16 pounds today – I’m not completely concerned with this recent weight attention. Grey loves to eat everything – however, the bottle is proving to be the challenge. He isn’t too interested in his bottle lately. He refuses the bottle then immediately gobbles up veggies and fruits. I’m looking for ways to make his bottle more desirable- maybe I’ll add some ice cream!

Another milestone- Grey is walking behind toys! My sister dropped off a mini doll stroller the other day and suggested we allow Grey to push and walk behind it. Well, he is walking behind the stroller! He is also standing at random moments unassisted for a few seconds. My baby is growing into a toddler.

In the next few weeks I am going to start volunteering with Parents Reaching Out. This program was placed on hold last year due to funding but they are up and running again. I had an interview with the Director the other day and I shared our story. My role will be a peer counselor. I’ll talk with parents who are going through a similar NICU situation – I’m hoping to bring these scared, vulnerable parents some much needed comfort and support.

March for Babies 2010!

2010-04-18T19:35:00.001-07:00

Today my family and friends headed out to our first March of Dimes walk. The weather was amazing and we had a wonderful time. I was excited to actually meet several babies of blogs I follow. It was even more exciting to see so many people coming together to fight prematurity! Everyone has their own story, but we all share the same hope. The hope that one day all babies will be born healthy.

Grey Grey's shirt says "Walk for Me 1 lb 10 oz"

Grey and I with Kim Meeks and Mary Farris. Kim also had HELLP syndrome and delivered Mary Farris at 25 weeks. She weighed 1 pound 3 ounces.

Prayers for the Nelson Family...

2010-04-17T18:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends & Family -

I recently learned that a friend from college needs some serious prayers. Patrick Nelson & Amanda Nelson need prayers for their precious son, Jon Beckett Nelson. Beckett is 6 mos old and sustained serious injuries on April 5th 2010. It is reported that his babysitter put him down on her bed (not in a crib) and he somehow got his head lodged between the mattress and head board. "Jon Beckett was taken initially to StoneCrest Medical Center where he received heroic life-sustaining medical care for severe head trauma, and has remained in critical care at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital since that time,"

Please pray for Patrick, Amanda and Beckett! We need another miracle.

Here is a picture of precious Beckett... taken from the facebook group "praying for jon beckett nelson"

A fund has been set-up at Suntrust bank for the Nelson family. The parents have been sitting by their son's bedside for 2 weeks now and we all know how fast medical bills accumulate.

My thoughts continue to be with the Nelson family... I am physically sick to hear these horrible news. Please say a prayer and hold your babies a little closer tonight.

a day at the park

2010-04-12T12:46:00.000-07:00

We took Greyson to the park on Saturday. The weather was beautiful; Matthew and I were eager to get him on a swing! I was a little reluctant once I saw the swing and immediately imagined him some how falling through one the leg holes… keep in mind he weighs less than 16 pound. However, he seemed to fit somewhat securely - so we began his first swinging experience. I think he really enjoyed the ride. There were lots of smiles and laughs.

Seriously checking out his other swing mates :)

HELP ME FIGHT PREMATURITY

2010-04-04T07:28:00.001-07:00

So it is time that I step up my fundraising for the March of Dimes Walk! I only have 14 days now to raise money for this awesome foundation.

So, why is the March of Dimes so important? Well, one good reason is surfactant. Without getting all scientific I will try to explain surfactant’s purpose in simple terms. Surfactant helps the tiny air sacs in the lungs to stay open. After birth, Grey’s lungs were so underdeveloped that his tiny air sacs would collapse- causing respiratory distress syndrome (RDS). His lungs would not open when he breathed in air.

After birth Grey received a dose of synthetic surfactant and then 3 days later he received another “rescue dose.” So, who was smart enough to develop artificial surfactant? In the 1980s, therapy using artificial surfactant was developed by March of Dimes grantee T. Allen Merritt, M.D., of the UC San Diego Medical Center. Since then, the number of babies who die from RDS has gone from 10,000 per year to fewer than 1,000. March of Dimes!!

When Grey was born, his lungs were in the bottom left development stage. He lacked alveoli (air sacs) to keep his lungs open. So he had the branches but he was lacking some very important leaves. These little leaves develop in the third trimester. The tiny air sacs that Grey had developed were able to stay open b/c of the surfactant he received.

So, our baby was able to grow from this...

To a healthy one year old...

Thank you March of Dimes for your outstanding research!

Just Texting From the Crib

2010-04-03T19:52:00.002-07:00

One

2010-03-30T14:03:00.000-07:00

So our precious baby boy turned ONE today! I am so proud of Greyson. Has it really been a year? Honestly, the stress, heartache, grief and strait turmoil seemed to last forever but these last 8 months with Grey home have flown by. Sure the first month we had Grey home was exciting to say the least, especially the episodes of “stopped breathing” when he would choke on his bottle and turn blue. Or the moments in the night when I would jump out of bed and run to the crib to check his breathing… I’m positive my heart skipped a few beats and I recently found a few gray hairs :)

I’ve learned a few things this last year. Artificial surfactant is the best invention! A supportive family can carry you through your toughest battle. A 1 pound 10 ounces baby born at the edge of viability can and will defy the odds! NICU nurses are very important. There will be moments in your life when you realize that everything you weighed as important suddenly becomes weightless. Life is a gift, not a burden or entitlement. A baby’s laugh at the end of a long workday makes everything okay. “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." (Matthew 17:20)

I want to say Thank You to all our wonderful Family & Friends who walked with us through this difficult journey… for never giving up hope that Greyson would thrive and come home. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Mr. Man

2010-03-28T09:09:00.001-07:00

Looking like a big boy!

The Crew

2010-03-24T18:36:00.001-07:00

We took Grey Grey to the doctor today- he has been acting pretty miserable this week. Furthermore, he's been coughing, puking and rubbing his ears. Well, I find out today that he has a double ear infection! I feel horrible. I've definitely noticed the rubbing of the ear- one side in particular but I didn't think he was in pain. This is what happens when you have such a wonderful baby with a great overall disposition.

I am now concerned with another issue- Grey only weighed 15 pounds 5 ounces. I recently weighed him on our family scale and it read 15 pounds 3 ounces and I just knew the scale was off- nope it was pretty accurate after all. I just feel this is very light for a 12 month old... even taking into consideration his prematurity. We have our appt with the preemie follow-up clinic next week so I am eager to hear their opinions regarding the topic of weight.

In the above picture: Grey, Maine and Taylor

Meet Greyson

2010-03-18T14:02:00.000-07:00

So our March for Babies video has generated Grey Grey some publicity lately. I recently met with Jessica Ennis, Publications Editor, with Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital. She wanted to know a little more about our miracle baby after seeing the photo of him on their website and viewing our video. We had a very nice interview and there were definitely moments when I was choking back tears… this is the first time in months that I have allowed myself to revisit our NICU memories… these always come back with a rush of intense emotions. Seriously, I had forgotten the weeks surrounding Grey’s PDA and the looming heart surgery to correct the opened vessel- those days seemed to last forever. I remember having to leave Grey’s bedside several times because I was so sick with fear. And the odd feeling of constant exhaustion when all I had been doing was sitting next to his isolette all day. There were times when I thought I would have to crawl to my car- my body and mind were in two different places.

Talking to Jessica was very easy. She has a little one at home and easily sympathized with our NICU journey. I think she began to cry before me. I don’t meet a lot of people who can immediately relate to our experience and finding that special someone is always nice.

Well, here is the story published on the VCH website. Just click "Meet Greyson" and it will take you to the page.

You can also go to the homepage of the VCH website and find our story here as well. Go to the bottom of the page to "meet our patients" and you will see a pic of Grey.

The babies playing outside

2010-03-16T17:07:00.001-07:00

Maine giving Grey Grey a ride!

20/20

2010-03-14T19:25:00.001-07:00

We had our final eye appointment last week. Final to me means that we have no future appointments with the eye doctor! Although Grey is at high risk for vision complications his eyes look great at this time! Our ophthalmologist mentioned that he has been involved in a study that monitors prematurity and vision complications. He let me know that if a 25 weeker can make it to this stage without complications his eyes are equivalent to a full term baby.

Our next appointment is a hearing screen. Then we have our one-year visit with the preemie follow-up clinic.

Grey is now saying “momma, go go, and duck” He is 12 months old this March and still no teeth. Which is fine with me. He is a happy boy!

Please Help Me In The FIGHT Against Prematurity

2010-03-07T17:13:00.000-08:00

Every day, thousands of babies are born too soon, too small and often very sick. I'm walking in March for Babies because I believe in their vision. I am walking in March for babies because as you all know, Grey was born 15 weeks early one year ago. I want to join in the fight against prematurity and infant mortality. Greyson is a miracle and I learned through our journey that many micropreemies do not survive the battle.

Please support my walk. Making a secure donation is easy: just click the 'sponsor me' button on the left side of this page. Thank you for helping me give all babies a healthy start!

I know some of you plan to walk with us and I am so excited... this means so much to me!

VCH Website

2010-03-02T20:06:00.000-08:00

Look who is on the Vanderbilt Children's Hospital Website:

http://www.vanderbiltchildrens.org/interior.php?mid=836

A picture of our sweet boy on the NICU page. Matthew took this picture during our stay- one of my favorites.

TEIS

2010-03-01T09:25:00.001-08:00

TEIS- TN Early Intervention Services

Last Thursday Grey was seen by an “early intervention specialist” at our home. I called a few weeks ago requesting a visit not because I identified a particular need- I simply wanted to confirm that we are utilizing all the resources available to Grey. He is such a beautiful little boy that we can easily forget that he was born too soon. Being born 15 weeks early at the edge of viability opens the door to countless medical conditions that can arise from such trauma. We definitely encountered many battles in the beginning- however, Grey has taken a different path. Somehow we are beating the odds. Often times I ask myself “how have we gotten here?” The medical path of a mircopreemie is unknown and totally unpredictable. Grey went from being one of the sickest babies in the NICU to one of the healthiest.

So the interventionist specialist was very impressed with Mr. Grey. She said she wasn’t expecting him to be crawling and climbing up stairs. It didn’t take her long to conclude that he is right on track for his age. He passed every area of evaluation. She also mentioned that unpredicted medical paths of preemies. Saying she evaluates preemies born at 30 weeks who are blind, deaf and battling CP. Then she meets preemies like Grey born at 25 weeks who are moving along like a full term baby. All I can say is the unknown is a scary place.

a family pic

2010-02-22T04:34:00.000-08:00

Check-Up

2010-02-15T19:10:00.000-08:00

Attempting to steal Tay Tay's pacifier

Grey playing in the refrigerator

Greyson had his 9 month check up today. I know, we are a little behind. He will be 11 months old on the 30th of this month. He weighed 14 pounds 5 ounces. I was definitely expecting him to weigh a little more but we do have an action plan. Grey needs to be drinking at least 24 ounces of formula a day. I am guessing that he usually drinks 18-20 ounces a day. He has lost some interest in the bottle since introducing solid foods. Moreover, he really enjoys eating his fruits and veggies and is very intrigued with what others are eating as well. It is kind of like having a little puppy dog around that stares at you with sappy eyes while waiting for a bite. Speaking of bite, Grey still hasn't cut any teeth. Our pediatrician says this is normal for a preemie but I'm still eager to see signs of a tooth- something to explain the drool :)

While shopping this weekend, a complete stranger came up to Matthew and said that Grey was beautiful and then asked if he was a preemie. She said she had worked with preemies for a long time as an RN years ago. We chatted for few minutes. She asked if TEIS (TN Early Intervention Services) had seen Greyson and I said no. She seemed a little taken aback by my direct “no” and explained that any baby born 15 weeks early should be seen by this program. Well, the conversation got me thinking and I've decide to call and at least ask for an evaluation. Not one of our healthcare providers has suggested we utilize the program. However, I think an assessment would be great. This program offers services beneficial to micro preemies, such as occupational, speech and feeding therapy.

Antibotics... yay or nay?

2010-02-09T06:40:00.000-08:00

Grey had another trip to the doctor yesterday. We just can’t seem to rid the cough and congestion. He just came off an antibiotic for 10 days but it appears he might need another round. Our main concern is pneumonia. Here’s my battle- do I push for another round of antibiotics or do I take the precautionary approach and recognize that the overuse of antibiotics will hurt your child in the long run? I personally feel like Matthew pushed for an antibiotic during our first visit 2 weeks ago, which I advised he take this approach since I could not make the appointment. However, I understand that the common cold does not warrant a need for an antibiotic. But do I really have time to waste with a baby that already is susceptible to respiratory infections due to his extreme prematurity? Am I weakening an already weakened immune system with the overuse of antibiotics? What to do? Needless to say, we are ready to say goodbye to winter and welcome some sunshine and healthier days.

Gigi called me this morning and promised that Grey said “momma” I’ll have to hear it to believe it. He shouts “da da” at me all day! He is crawling all over the place, his favorite find is a cord. He loves our cell phone cords, the cord to my hair straightener in the bathroom, the cord to the lamp- which he used to yank the lamp off the end table last week. The days of Grey lying in the bed between Matthew and me playing with a toy are over! This little guy is into everything and constantly on the move.

We took the new picture on the blog last week. Grey’s first snow picture.

Somebody looks like Daddy

2010-02-03T12:21:00.001-08:00

Crawl

2010-01-31T09:04:00.000-08:00

So finally we were able to capture the crawl! Notice that Grey is eagerly crawling to get to my iphone. He loves a good cell phone. I can't tell you how excited I am that he is crawling. Every little milestone means the world to us!

Kiss Kiss

2010-01-27T16:32:00.000-08:00

Moving & Grooving!

2010-01-24T15:07:00.001-08:00

Grey is all over the place these days. It seems like he is constantly stretching, arching and leaning to get to everything! It seems like nothing goes untouched. Just the other day he was extremely sleepy and I was rocking him and we changed position in the chair and then he caught a glimpse of the nightlight and it was over. He was immediately alert and eager to explore the mysterious light.

He is officially in the crawling stage. His crawl is rather unstable but he is still getting around. He now stands in the crib when he awakes from his naps or feels like hanging out in the middle of the night. Grey was sick last week (probably a sinus infection) and I think I created a bad habit. He coughed and cried all night so I put him in the bed with Matthew and me. Well, now the cough has dissipated and he still stands and cries out in the middle of the night- of course I run in for the rescue and bring him to bed with us. His presence in the bed doesn't go unnoticed. A typical night consists of several face slaps, a few pinches and some hair pulling.

I spent the majority of the weekend making baby food. Grey is not a fan of peas! I knew this but wanted to try again with field peas. I fed him his breakfast this morning- cereal with bananas & kiwi, which he enjoyed. Since I had just finished steaming some field peas, Matthew decided to let him try a bite. Well, he made a horrible face, gagged and threw up his entire breakfast. Needless to say, I poured the pea mixture down the drain.

Go Colts!

2010-01-17T13:37:00.000-08:00

Grey, Poppi & cousin Maine ready for the Colts game on Saturday Night.

Little Monkey

2010-01-17T13:36:00.001-08:00

I weigh 14 pound 2 ounces!

Beep Beep

2010-01-13T07:50:00.000-08:00

Beep Beep…

Matthew and I have been taking Grey for car rides all around the house. He is really starting to be interactive with all his toys. He loves to whack the keys on his piano toy. He is still rocking. Matthew and I witnessed him crawl backwards yesterday. Oh and he is also saying “Da Da Da” Not sure how that one happened… I was for sure he would say “Ma Ma Ma.” Daddy continues to win the entertainment award. Grey gets excited just seeing him. Moreover, he starts giggling and his little legs just kick and kick when Matthew walks through the door.

Grey has really been looking like a big boy this week. He gets another synagis shot on Friday and I am eager to know his weight. The frozen breast milk supply is close to gone. It is amazing how fast it goes. Anyway- we have been giving him NeoSure, high calorie formula for prematurity. He really seems to like the flavor and his insides tolerate it well. And I really feel like I noticed a difference in weight and size- those extra calories are starting show.

Dimples

2010-01-08T13:31:00.000-08:00

So, I’m having mixed feelings about posting nude pics of my baby but I really felt this one was a must see! Greyson loves bath time! When you show him the bath tub he gets all wiggly and starts to giggle. He splashes and throws his arms all around – No fear! I’m looking into doing some sort of baby swim lessons this summer.

Rocking

2010-01-07T17:21:00.000-08:00

Hello 2010

2010-01-04T07:11:00.000-08:00

Hello 2010!
You know, I thought about titling this blog entry… good riddance 2009, however, I’ve steered towards a more positive approach. Although 2009 was definitely one of the most difficult years – we had our joyous moments… like bringing home Grey after 102 days in the NICU. This experience has strengthened Matthew and me, including our marriage. Moreover, we have both experienced a new love. Unconditional love is attainable. As the Bible says, "sons and daughters are an inheritance from God; the fruitage of the belly is a reward." Greyson is our precious inheritance- such a valuable prize.

We took a trip to IN over the extended holiday weekend. Grey decided that he’d grow up and act like a big boy during this trip. He appears to be preparing to crawl. He is getting himself into the crawl position and rocking- it is so funny! And he loves to stand. Stand him up against anything and his grinning face will light up the room. He has also taken a liking to our iphones. On our car ride home he watched youtube videos of Super Why and was completely mesmerized.

I’ll post the video of him rocking later today.

Hi From IN

2010-01-02T09:23:00.001-08:00

2009-12-24T20:29:00.000-08:00

Mr. Drooly

2009-12-21T11:45:00.000-08:00

I love the look on his face!

Mr. Drooly had a doctor’s appointment last week and he weighed in at 13 pounds 8 ounces. I was thinking he was going to weigh closer to 15 pounds… he feels heavy to me. Anyway, Grey received his synagis shot and he really cried this time. I felt awful, especially since I am required to hold his hands since he is such a wiggle worm now. I prefer to play the rescuer role, which means I swoop in after the pain and rescue him from the bad nurse :)

Okay, there has to be a tooth brewing somewhere in Grey’s mouth. He is now known as Mr. Drooly and he rightfully earns that title. I check often but find nothing. I guess I’ll just keep looking. In the meantime, wear a raincoat when holding the precious one.

Apparently, I need this bib

Seriously?

2009-12-17T12:21:00.001-08:00

I don’t know if anyone watches the TV series “18 Kids and Counting” I know I have personally tuned in just to see a glimpse of this family’s chaotic yet extremely organized life. Anyway, I just read that baby Duggar “19” just came into this world very early on 12/10/09. Josie wasn’t expected until March. It is safe to say she was born around 25/26 weeks. She weighed 1 pound 6 ounces. I’ll pray for the health of Momma Duggar and little Josie. Obviously mom needs to be home & healthy to care for all the other little ones.

However, I must say that I was extremely annoyed with the article’s casual report of baby Josie.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34379874/ns/today-parenting_and_family

It was reported that baby was “resting” in the NICU and a family spokesman told People magazine that the infant was expected to be fine. Now, I realize I have personal insight to what this family is really going to experience. BUT, who dare reports that a 25 weeker is “fine and resting” The last thing baby Josie is doing is resting! She is battling for her life! Her little lungs are working harder than they will ever work. It is probably safe to say she isn’t breathing on her own. Reporting that any mircopreemie is “fine” is ridiculous and creates a great misperception of this baby’s true struggles. I guess it brings me back to a time when everyone was pretending that Grey would come home once he weighed 4 pounds or maybe it was 3 pounds that they were stating. Regardless, he wasn’t even breathing on his own! He was also being fed by an intravenous tube. However, many thought we would pack up our belongings and head home once the scale read a special number. I now understand why this happens… because 25 weekers are reported to be fine and resting.

Hopefully someone will accurately report this family’s fight. Maybe TLC can show the world what it is truly like to have a micropreemie. OR maybe they will continue on with the false perceptions of the world.

I guess I’ll step down off my soap box.

Checking In

2009-12-15T06:49:00.001-08:00

I wanted to check in and let you all know I acknowledge that I have been lazy with my blogging lately. I started a new job and I’ve been battling a cold for over a week. My energy level is subpar to say the least.
Greyson is doing wonderfully. His personality is really starting to shine through. He’s fine with sassing when needed. Gigi isn’t allowed to leave the room during the day and he shouldn’t be ignored… he’ll let you know! I’ve been trying to confidently diagnose a fake cough. It just sounds so false. All the sudden Grey will let out an exaggerated cough and when you ask if he’s okay he’ll grin so big!! He’s starting to reach out for us, which melts my heart. Seriously, I have done some dental damage with the constant gritting of my teeth. I have to release the urge or I might squeeze him into mush. He is truly the light of mine and Matthew’s life. I don’t know what we would talk about if we didn’t have him. We went to dinner the other night and watched iphone videos of Grey during our date.

Here's a few family photos we recently had taken by shutterbelle photograpy :)

I'm a little hedgehog

2009-12-06T17:19:00.000-08:00

Look Who's Sitting Up

2009-12-02T18:12:00.001-08:00

Grey has been attempting to sit by himself for a few weeks now. Today I come home from work and he's sitting like he's been doing it for months!

Surgery Update

2009-12-01T09:52:00.001-08:00

Greyson is home and doing great! We left the children’s hospital around 9am this morning. Our night nurse swore that Grey was the best baby she ever cared for. He is such a trooper! I almost had a mini break down yesterday. We arrived 2 hours before surgery as instructed and the nurse was prepping Grey and asking all the questions. During these questions I mentioned putting a table spoon of cereal in his 5am bottle. Well, you would have thought that I said I fed him a turkey dinner with extra dessert! Cereal in the bottle is considered a solid food so the surgery had to be pushed back 2 hours. So the 2 hours quickly turned into 5 hours and here I am struggling to comfort a starving 8 month old. I felt horrible and Grey was being so good but definitely crying out a random moments and attempting to eat the bed linens. I was really blaming myself for this one; however it would have been nice if someone from peds surgery would have mentioned to me that cereal was not allowed. Now I totally understand the need for an empty stomach. This prevents vomiting that could cause a patient to choke to death or to aspirate stomach contents into the lungs and develop pneumonia. So I was fine with the extended wait but not the 5 hour extended wait! Poor Grey Grey.

Anyway- another lesson learned. As a mother, I learn something new everyday. Today- another lesson in gratitude. Thankful again that Grey continues to amaze us.

Long weekend

2009-11-29T20:04:00.001-08:00

Cousin Taylor giving Grey a ride in her shopping cart

Well, we had a busy extended weekend. Matthew and I decided to venture out and battled the crowds on black Friday. It wasn’t as bad as I expected but then again we left our house around 9am and I’m thinking the pandemonium begins around 4am. Greyson got to spend time with grandma and grandpa Stokes during our shopping experience. He showed off his jumping skills in the jumperoo! He literally jumps nonstop for 30 minutes without a fuss.

Tomorrow will be a long day. Greyson has surgery scheduled at 11am. I am already fretting and thinking over the “what ifs”. I’m most concerned with the wait. Greyson can not have breast milk after 6am and I am so worried about him being hungry. From our experience in the NICU, the pediatric surgery department definitely works on their own schedule, which is understandable due to unexpected emergencies. I plan to stay the night with Grey but this depends on the type of room arrangements we are offered. However, I’m sure either way they can squeeze in some room for mom. I’ll crawl up into the hospital crib if needed :) Please pray that everything goes smoothly.

On a sad note, a couple that I went to school with lost their baby this week. Baby Luke was born at 24 weeks and fought to live a few days. I am so happy that mom and dad had the opportunity to spend some time with their precious son- what a fighter! Please pray for the Atkins family, peace and comfort is needed. My heart has been so heavy for this family.

Howdy

2009-11-22T18:47:00.000-08:00

So we've been running around the house with Grey, our new cowboy! My Aunt Ellen and Grandma are visiting from IN so I was sure to introduce them to the cowboy this morning. I knew the hat would bring a few laughs but we actually ended up in tears. Honestly, we have these moments often. These are truly tears of happiness. How did we manage to get here? I cry not because what I fear might happen but I cry for the triumph of trusting again. I trust in myself that Greyson is going to be healthy. You know there were many times during our NICU stay when I thought the grief was going to suck the life out of me. At times the grief was so intense. You know, grief is mostly associated with loss, however, what I felt was definitely grief. Something so precious had been taken too soon. I read once that you should plan ahead for grief triggers. Well, I dropped off a gift to one of our very special nurses the other day and she was working in the Stahlman NICU. This is the NICU that Greyson was first taken to for several weeks after birth. I walked back through those doors and the memories were fresh. Smell has such a strong power to vividly bring back memories and I remembered the smell most. The NICU world still exist. I think that was the most disturbing. Monitors were chiming and nurses were busy buzzing around isolettes. Our nurse was anxiously awaiting the arrival of a new admission and chatted while aggressively watching the doors for their new baby. It felt good to see our nurse again but sadness had settled. Babies will continue to be born too soon. The tiniest are fighting right now to survive. I've been thinking a lot lately about our journey. November is prematurity awareness month like I mentioned in one of my latest post. We won't ever forgot our experience. However, I don't want to ever forget that more than a million preemies will die each year.

Jump jump

2009-11-22T17:00:00.000-08:00

And the baby jumps!

Yum Yum!

2009-11-17T18:12:00.000-08:00

Greyson is eating baby food! So far he has eaten bananas, peaches, sweet potatoes and green beans. He is a wonderful eater and appears to enjoy every bite. I am making all his baby food fresh right now with my baby cook. Tonight we pureed fresh bananas and I stopped to give him a couple bites, which he loved.

By the way, we went to the doctor on Monday and Grey weighs 13 pounds 5 ounces. He received his first H1N1 vaccine and has truly been a trooper- no fever or fussiness.

Oh and November is Prematurity Awareness Month so you all will probably be hearing more from me on this topic :)

Little Biscuit

2009-11-08T19:01:00.000-08:00

Today

2 months ago

Little Biscuit.

For some reason I have been calling Grey little biscuit all weekend. Maybe it’s because he too is warm and delicious.

I definitely noticed this morning that Greyson no longer fits in his NICU bath bucket. I haven’t used this tub in about 2 month and I was shocked to see his little limbs hanging over the sides. He is getting big. I say this like 100 times a week and then follow it with a long whiny sigh.

We’ve scheduled surgery to correct his inguinal hernia for the 30th of this month. I’ve been putting this off for some time now. I have such strong emotions surrounding this surgery. I do not want my baby staying another night in the hospital. I started to cry the other day on the phone when talking to the nurse. She tells me that he can’t have breast milk after 6am and I start crying. I wonder if that is the usual response from a parent.

7 months!

2009-10-30T15:58:00.000-07:00

Greyson is 7 months old today… yikes! 7 months sounds big boy to me. We just got home from the doctor and Grey weighed in at 12 pounds 11 ounces. He received his synagis shot today to protect him from RSV. It seems like every appointment requires shots now. I’m pretty sure these shots hurt me more than Grey.

Okay- so I’ve collected my data from our preemie follow up appointment. Grey was given a development assessment and here are the scores.

6 months (3 months corrected)

Cognitive: 94 Chronological Age; 115 Corrected Age
Physical (motor skills): 82 Chronological Age; 104 Corrected Age
Communication: 91 Chronological Age; 106 Corrected Age

So what does all this mean? Greyson is doing just fine. Cognitive skills are equivalent to a 6 month old, Physical motor skills are equivalent to a 3 ½ month old, Communication is equivalent to a 4 month old. So right now we are on track. However, we certainly have a high risk for developmental delays secondary to prematurity in our future.

This is me desperately trying to make Grey happy after his shots. It takes me a moment to get the camera situated :)

It's Cold Outside

2009-10-19T11:49:00.001-07:00

It’s cold outside and someone is grumpy! Matthew and I bundled Grey up on Saturday afternoon; he didn’t particularly love his new hat and scarf.

We are really hoping that TN didn't skip fall completely! One day the weather is beatuiful and the next day it is freezing.

H1N1

2009-10-11T13:43:00.000-07:00

Greyson attended his second festival this weekend! Matthew and I took him to the Belle Meade Fall Fest. We bought a beautiful frame for one of Greyson’s pictures. The weather was a little chilly so Grey stayed bundled up inside his stroller. We did take him out so he could see a llama… just like llama llama red pajama.

So I’ve really been debating the H1N1 vaccine this week. I am desperately trying to weigh the odds on this one. Is it riskier to receive the vaccine or not receive the vaccine? Our pediatrician recommended Grey get the vaccine. However, I’ve recently read many concerning articles related to this new vaccine.

Please comment your thoughts about the vaccine.

Country Ham

2009-10-03T15:58:00.000-07:00

We made it out to the country ham festival today in Spring Hill. It was interesting. Matthew ate a fried Monte Cristo sandwich! Afterwards he mentioned eating salads for weeks to recover from the calorie overload. The weather was gorgeous! It was so nice to have Grey out in the open air. He really seemed to enjoy the sunshine.

I was extremely busy at work this week which caused a delay in reporting some good news. Grey had his neonatal follow-up appointment this week. This is a clinic at Vanderbilt that has been specializing in the development of preemies and extremely sick infants at birth. The nurse explained to me that the clinic has been open for 50 years and all visits are cost free to parents/insurance. They even reimburse for travel expenses. I’m excited that Greyson will contribute to their research. He will continue to see these specialists until 3 years of age.

Overall, they were pleased with Greyson’s development so far. He scored above average in all areas for his adjusted age (2 months 11 days). It appeared that they were evaluating basic skills such as talking, thinking and moving. We discussed all the scores for his actual age but somehow I did not leave the clinic with that paperwork. I am going to call this coming week and verify the information that I remember. However, I can tell you he did well. I’ll post that information later as well. I always try to remember to post specifics b/c I enjoy reading this kind of information on the blogs of other preemies.

I’ve included a short video clip. This was my attempt to get him to smile at Gigi this morning before we left for the festival. It is very difficult to capture his smiles and coos on video.

Working for the Weekend

2009-09-26T08:20:00.001-07:00

So it’s a rainy weekend but I have no complaints about staying inside all day with Grey!
Greyson has developed a running nose these last two days and is sneezing often- so now I am on guard. Our pediatrician doesn’t think it is a big deal and he hasn’t had a fever or any other serious symptoms. However, he despises the little suction bulb and really screams! So we will all be keeping a close eye on Grey Grey.

I’m sitting here eating lucky charms and watching him sleep. Do all babies look this peaceful? You know I prayed and begged for Greyson to grow and get bigger and now I am whispering to him to slow down- don’t look so big each night when I get home from work. Stay little and so sweet. Grey isn’t even 6 months and I am already mourning the loss of time.

Mr. Lovey

2009-09-18T07:03:00.001-07:00

Well, I've made it through my first work week. Monday I was very proud of myself but Tuesday I definitely carried a little sadness in my heart. I’ve had to shake off a little bitterness as well.

Yesterday I learned that one of the babies in the NICU the same time as Grey has passed away. I was sent into a whirlwind of emotion. My heart is really aching for this particular mother. Her baby girl was in the NICU for a year and passed away on her one year birth date. The last I heard, mother and baby were scheduled to go home. I was up all last night fretting. My mind was racing with all the “what ifs” and I literally checked on Grey every hour. I wanted to pull him out of the crib and cry. Each day the memory of the NICU fads a little but when I learn about a preemie death the painful memories and emotions are back screaming in my face. Life in the NICU is so unfair and cruel.

I am so grateful for my lovey boo. I just wish I could protect all the preemies in the world.

The Boys

2009-09-13T19:38:00.000-07:00

Matthew, Greyson and Uncle Peter.

We’ve had the pleasure of having Uncle Pete around for a few weeks. Pete has been helping Matthew and me with a remodeling job on our rental property. I’ve been chasing Pete around the house demanding he hold Grey. He has adjusted very well to having a baby around and even fed him a bottle the other day.

On a sad note, I return to work tomorrow. I’ve been denying this day’s arrival for some time now. I miss my co-workers but leaving Grey is going to be heart wrenching. I spend the majority of my day kissing, holding and cuddling Grey. My need to protect Greyson is overpowering to say the least- I am the momma bear! However, I am handing him over to Gigi, who is next in line behind Matthew and me in the love department. She adores Greyson and he will receive wonderful care. I just wish I was the one loving him all day. It’s painful to be away from him for even an hour.

Mini Trip

2009-09-11T08:47:00.000-07:00

Grey's suitcase bed- we forgot the pack-n-play

Kara- thank you for the photo idea

Mr. Greyson had his first vacation! We drove to Indiana for the long weekend to stay with my aunt and uncle on the lake. I have to say he did wonderfully in the car! Seriously, he didn’t cry once. I can’t say this enough… Grey is such a good baby. Lately, I’ve been thinking that he’s forgotten how to cry.

He enjoyed the boat ride and ALL the attention! I’m pretty sure he was held the entire stay. My Aunt was astounded by his growth. She flew down twice to visit Grey in the hospital and the last time she saw him he weighed about 3 pounds.

Our newest thing is sucking. Suck everything. Grey loves to suck his fingers, arms and blankets. Oh and we are also drooling- some days more than others. And, little man has enough strength to stand on his legs- so strong!

We will visit the preemie clinic this month to check Grey’s development. I am eager to see where we are. We are very fortunate to have all these wonderful resources.

By the way- my newest fear his H1N1 (swine flu). We took Greyson to his surgery consult the other day and saw lots of masked faces. When I realized these covered faces were do to swine flu I panicked. Gigi and I enclosed Grey in the stroller and got out of the hospital. I asked my pediatrician if the surgical masks were necessary and she said “no.” Good thing because I’d probably make Grey wear one 24/7. We just have to make it through this winter without getting sick.

Mr. Cute Cute

2009-09-03T21:14:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, we actually run around saying “Mr. Coote Coote!”

Gosh, I cannot even tell you all what a joy Greyson is to us. I love everything about him… every detail! I especially love that he lets me dress him up in silly hats and still maintains his pleasant disposition. I read a quote recently that said “a baby fills a void in your heart that you didn’t know what empty” Wow, isn’t that the truth!! Sometimes I fill like I may burst into a million love bits because my admiration for Grey is so overwhelming.

Just another day that I am seized with gratitude.

Laughs

2009-09-01T08:10:00.001-07:00

Well, we’ve rounded the 5 month mark! Gigi and I just took Grey to the doctor last Friday and he weighed 10 pounds 7 ounces- with clothes and diaper on. I asked our pediatrician if I should still be fortifying my breast milk and she advised that I continue.
I simply want to be cautious and not wake-up one day and realize my baby is obese!

We also visited the surgeon on Friday and it’s official that Greyson will need another hernia repair surgery. Matthew and I are thinking that we will schedule the surgery sometime in October. This surgery will require an over night stay in the hospital but hopefully it will only be one night. I’m not too worried about the surgical repair part but having Grey undergo anesthesia again gets my “crazy thoughts” spinning. I love to obsess about all the “what-ifs.” During my stay in the hospital, I felt anesthesia always presented the worst case scenarios.

Anyway, on a happier note, Greyson is really starting to smile and laugh at us! His cuteness is really taking a toll on my teeth. I just know I am going to look in the mirror one day soon and notice that I have gritted all my teeth down to tiny bits. He is just so cute! And truly he is a wonderful baby and never fussy.

Roll

2009-08-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

First, I'd like to thank everyone for the comments and emails about baby scooting :) It is obvious that Grey is not the only scooter around and it makes me feel much better.

Grey started rolling over on Monday- very exciting. I was able to capture a roll with my iphone yesterday. What a big boy! I also just noticed this week that he is growing out of all his newborn outfits. I guess I need to start getting out all the 0-3 months gear. I think he is going to continue growing like a weed! One of my co-workers called and asked if we were feeding him miracle grow! Sure feels like it.

Yikes

2009-08-23T20:34:00.001-07:00

So my new concern is Grey’s crib scooting! Matthew and I only put Greyson in his crib once he has fallen asleep. However, that sleep is immediately stirred once he hits the sheet! He now starts his scooting routine. This scooting has the same result- his sweet little face planted in the bumper in the corner of his crib! The first time Matthew and I witnessed this we really laughed it up. Now it is no longer funny and I’m finding it rather concerning. We literally repositioned him 5 times last night and I finally gave up and put him in bed with us. While in bed, he found my armpit and nuzzled his face there! What the heck is going on?!? Even with the angel monitor working, I am not comfortable with his face squished into any fabric. I asked my siblings today about my niece and nephew (both 9mos) and they have pretty normal sleeping habits. I won’t mention that Tay hasn’t seen her crib :) Anyway, I have no idea if this scooting is normal and by normal I mean common among babies. I have to get some footage of this scooting- it is pretty entertaining watching Grey do the worm.

Photo Shoot Please

2009-08-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

So I greeted Matthew today and demanded a photo shoot! He takes the best pictures of Grey. I know he is so tired of me saying “please get out the camera!” I am constantly worrying that we don’t have enough pictures of Grey and I feel like he is growing so fast. He is really starting to wiggle and move around now. I have no idea when he’ll be able to sit up or roll over but he sure scoots that little body up and down and around. I am also still waiting for a genuine smile. He randomly smiles but I’m ready for him to smile at mommy!

Anyway- here are a few of my favorite shots.

Grey's Shower

2009-08-19T12:39:00.000-07:00

faith, stephanie, amber, mehgann, me, amy, tricia, stef, christina, selina, jarrett

camilla with her elephant purse

So I decided that it would be nice to post a few shower photos. I wanted to include the picture of my beautiful girlfriends. I was so excited to see them! Life has been so hectic that I just now had the opportunity to view these photos last night. My mother and sister threw this wonderful shower for me. And our designer, Robin, came up with the elephant theme and created the adorable elephant decor and invitations.

Greyson is doing great. He is eating like a machine! I am eager for a weight check soon. He slept in his crib last night for the first time! I usually put him in bed with Matthew and I around 3 or 4 am every morning. He is such a big boy.

Just Sitting Around...

2009-08-10T11:10:00.001-07:00

A Sunday Stroll

2009-08-09T21:02:00.001-07:00

Just an update…

Greyson is doing well. We went on our Sunday stroll this evening. Matthew and I like to take Greyson on a stroller ride, usually on Sunday evenings, when the heat has died down a bit. I enjoy these simple outings. I rarely leave the house with Grey but I do think some fresh air is important. Besides check-up appointments, Grey and I are homebound. We’ve only been home for a month and it’s hard to make arrangements each time you need to leave the house. We are very thankful to have a wonderful Gigi and Poppi to help out!

Greyson has an appointment on the 28th and we will learn if he needs another hernia repair surgery. 3 days before leaving the NICU, Greyson had an inguinal hernia repair on his left side. Well, at our first check-up appointment, our pediatrician expressed immediately concern that the right side also needed repair. Needless to say, I am terribly disappointed that both were not corrected with the same surgery. I want Greyson to be as comfortable as possible but I also want to protect him from any pain and surgery is painful so I’m not looking forward to this appointment.

Even without a recent weigh-in, I can assure everyone Grey is growing right along. He loves his bottle! I am still feeding him on demand, which honestly might produced a little piglet but I’ll stop when the pediatrician states concern. I’m guessing he weighs close to 9 pounds.

Mr. Elephant isn't so BIG anymore!

2009-07-30T16:27:00.000-07:00

4 Months today!!

Greyson is growing right along. I’m excited to announce he has slept in his crib for the past 2 nights (thank you Kristi for recommending the Angel Monitor.) Seriously, without this device I’d still be stumbling around in the night every 10 minutes. However, I do forget to turn off the alarm each time I remove him from the crib for a feeding, so Matthew gets a startling little wake-up several times throughout the night. The Angel Monitor will sound an alarm if there is no movement for 20 seconds. Moreover, there is a sensory pad that is placed under the mattress that monitors all movement. I tested it several times and it proves to work. We still take our early morning nap together. Greyson sleeps on my chest for about an hour. He loves to sleep on Matthew and me.

I was browsing through some pictures the other day and decided that we needed a growth update with Mr. Elephant. Wow, the difference in size is amazing!

Twins

2009-07-26T15:03:00.000-07:00

Grey and Grandpa Stokes

2009-07-24T10:55:00.000-07:00

Matthew's family came to visit Greyson last Saturday. We are keeping Greyson home as instructed for as long as possible so Matthew's family has to come to us. I can't wait to actually feel secure with taking Grey out of the house.

Matthew snapped a few shots and here is one with Grandpa. We think Grey has Grandpa's chin :) Not only does Greyson look just like Matthew but he looks like Grandpa too.

Weight Check

2009-07-24T10:50:00.001-07:00

We had our 4 month check-up yesterday (a few days early). Greyson weighed 7 pounds 12 ounces and I wasn’t shocked. Gaining one pound in a week definitely seems possible when you are eating every 2 hours. Furthermore, he acts hungry constantly, which is a good thing at this point. I spoke with our pediatrician about my concern with fortifying my breast milk. This fortified formula is giving him horrible gas! Now, I can handle the gas but it is clearly uncomfortable for Greyson. He has a terrible look on his face and you can feel his gas pains- and gas pain is the worst. I’d like to stop the fortifying but I’ve been instructed that it is still important right now. So, I’ve tried gas drops and haven’t seen any improvements in his disposition. If anyone has further suggestions- I’ll take them. Sadly, we also had our 4 month shots yesterday. Ouch! Talk about heart wrenching that experience was awful. Matthew will be taking him for the 6 month shots.

Sorry but I had to post a few pics of our grumpy little pumpkin. These are the faces that I see at 2 and 3am!!

Slide Show

2009-07-20T11:35:00.000-07:00

I made this slide show last month for my shower. I just realized that I never shared it on the blog! Turn up the volume, there is music about 20 seconds into the video. I need to make a new video soon to show our 7 pounder at home.

Bumble Bee

2009-07-17T08:41:00.000-07:00

So Poppi has so accurately described Greyson as “a bumble bee in a tin can.” This little guy has no problem winding himself into a fit of furry.

We visited the pediatrician and eye doctor this week. The pediatrician was very happy with his progress but he’s lost some weight. Greyson weighed 7 pounds 1 ounce when we left the NICU on Saturday and he weighed 6 pounds 12 ounces on Wednesday at the doctor. So for now, I am back to fortifying every bottle, which means I add 24 extra calories to my breast milk. He’s pretty much the boss when it comes to eating; I’ve thrown out the schedule for now. I think he took 10 bottles yesterday. If he acts hungry then he gets fed. We have a follow-up visit next week and I’ll probably be scolded for the weight gain!

Our eye doctor visit went well. Greyson has no signs of retinopathy. This is a disease caused by immature vessels in the eye, which can lead to blindness. Babies born at 25 weeks are very likely to have some stage of retinopathy. However, Greyson has beat the odds again. We have a follow-up appointment in 4 months. Note to self, if you are a frantic germaphobe, bound to defeat bacteria, don’t wear your baby in one of those slings to the doctor’s office. Slings draw attention to every woman within eyesight. I could see their intrigued eyes from afar and seriously felt panic- I wanted to scream “Stop! Do not proceed with further closeness” I managed to show his face to one woman for like 3 seconds, five feet away, she clearly thought I was nuts. I avoided eye contact with everyone and ignored all whispers, which included “oh look, that must be a little baby” and “how cute, I think a baby is in there.” I never confirmed their suspension and surely won the unfriendly mother award.

Poor Matthew has probably been crawling on all fours this week at work. An intravenous drip of caffeine probably wouldn’t get him through the work day. Last night is the first night we didn’t sleep with the light on. I literally check Greyson every 10 minutes and if I happen to fall asleep for like 15 minutes then I jump with panic and run to wherever he is sleeping. I allowed him to sleep in the crib for almost an hour last night; this hour included about 10 breathing checks. He usually sleeps in a swing right next to our bed and don’t feel bad- this swing is amazing and surely more comfortable than any crib. I’m just wondering when the worrying ends. I know all moms do this but I haven’t been given any time frames. Am I going to be running around in the night for weeks or months?

Home is where the Heart is

2009-07-12T19:41:00.000-07:00

So we brought our sweet Greyson home on Saturday after 102 days in the NICU.

Matthew and I signed out of the NICU for the last time at 11:20am. This experience seems so unreal. I felt like I was running out of the NICU in fear of flooding the place with tears. I had one of those awful lumps in my throat the entire morning. I am truly going to miss our nurses, especially our primaries. Teri, Carlye, Jenny and Judith- I know Greyson misses you… well, we all miss you. Seriously, if it wasn’t for these nurses, I’d be in the asylum by now.

It is still strange having Grey home, just today I watched Gigi rocking him and thought “what’s he doing here?” Greyson spends the majority of his time being transferred from one person's arms to another. I wouldn’t say we are fighting over him but we are all eagerly awaiting our turn… and of course, I get first dibs. So far, he enjoys his swing and sleeps best on Matthew’s chest. And all of our conversations begin with ‘oh my gosh, please come look at Greyson!” I've fallen in love all over again. He is truly a gift and definitely worth the wait.

So this is where we truly begin our life with Greyson Matthew…